A prayer for someone you love, built from Scripture

Praying for someone you love can be strangely hard. You care so much that the prayer collapses into please help them, or keep them safe, said over and over. Those are real prayers, and God hears them. But there is more to ask for, and you may not know what it is.

The New Testament letters are full of prayers Paul prayed for people he loved. He did not mainly pray for their circumstances. He prayed for their inner strength, their knowledge of God, their love, their endurance. Those prayers were written down, and they are yours to use.

What follows is a prayer for someone you love, built from those passages line by line. Put the person’s name wherever the italics say them. Pray it for a child, a spouse, a parent, a friend, or someone who has drifted from God. The words fit.

Why borrow Paul’s prayers

Because they aim higher than we usually do. Left to ourselves, we pray for what we can see: health, safety, a job, a good outcome. Paul prayed for what lasts. Listen to what he asked for the Ephesians.

I ask that out of the riches of His glory He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

— Ephesians 3:16–17

Inner strength, and Christ at home in the heart: those are not things you can arrange for someone. Only God can do them. That is exactly why they belong in prayer.

Praying Scripture for someone also frees you from having to know what is best. You may not know whether they should take the job or move house. You do know they need to be rooted in love. So pray for that, and trust God with the rest.

The prayer, line by line

Kneel before the Father

for this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.

— Ephesians 3:14–15

Father, I bow before You for them. Every family, including ours, gets its name from You. You made this person, and You love them more than I do. I bring them to You now.

Paul begins with posture. Bowing the knees is a way of saying that what he is about to ask is beyond his power. Start there.

Ask that they be rooted in love

Then you, being rooted and grounded in love, will have power, together with all the saints, to comprehend the length and width and height and depth of the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

— Ephesians 3:17–19

Strengthen them in their inner being by Your Spirit. Let Christ be at home in their heart. Root them in love, and give them the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep Your love for them is, more than they could ever fully know. Fill them with Yourself.

Notice that Paul prays for people to comprehend a love that surpasses knowledge. It is a prayer God can answer only by giving more of Himself. Ask for that for the person you love.

Ask for wisdom and a worthy walk

we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,

— Colossians 1:9–10

Fill them with the knowledge of Your will. Give them wisdom for the decisions in front of them, and understanding of what You are doing in their life. Let them walk in a way that pleases You, bearing fruit, growing in knowing You.

Paul says he has not stopped praying for them. That is the pattern: not one prayer, but a habit. This is a prayer to return to.

Ask for endurance and joy

being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have full endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the light.

— Colossians 1:11–12

Strengthen them with Your power for the long haul. Give them endurance for what is hard and patience for what is slow. And give them joy, real thankfulness, because You have qualified them to share in the inheritance of Your people.

Endurance and joy together. Paul does not pray that hard things will be removed. He prays that the person will be strong enough to bear them, and glad while doing so.

Ask that their love grow wise

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to test and prove what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,

— Philippians 1:9–10

Let their love keep growing, and let it grow wise. Give them insight to tell what is best from what is merely good. Keep them pure. Bring them safely to the day of Christ.

Love that abounds in knowledge is the point. Not sentiment, but love with judgment, able to choose well.

Ask for protection

But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.

— 2 Thessalonians 3:3

You are faithful, Lord. Strengthen them and guard them from the evil one. Where I cannot protect them, You can.

Two verses later Paul adds a line worth praying on its own: “May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance” (2 Thessalonians 3:5). Direction of the heart is something only God can do from the inside.

Pray for their whole life

Beloved, I pray that in every way you may prosper and enjoy good health, as your soul also prospers.

— 3 John 1:2

And Father, I do ask for the ordinary things too: their health, their work, their daily life. Let them prosper in every way, as their soul prospers.

John does not ignore the body or the daily life. He prays for both, in the right order. You may ask for everything.

Bless them

‘May the LORD bless you and keep you; may the LORD cause His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the LORD lift up His countenance toward you and give you peace.’

— Numbers 6:24–26

LORD, bless them and keep them. Make Your face shine on them. Be gracious to them. Lift up Your face toward them and give them peace. Amen.

This is the blessing God gave the priests to speak over Israel. Speak it over the person you love. If they are near, speak it out loud to them.

Keeping this prayer for them

Choose one line per person. If you pray for several people, you do not have to pray all of this for each one. Give one line to each name. Over the weeks, rotate.

Pray it at a fixed time. Tie it to something you already do: the drive to work, the walk with the dog, the first cup of coffee. Paul could say he had not stopped praying because prayer had a place in his day.

Tell them, sometimes. Not to make a show of it, but a quiet word that you prayed Ephesians 3 for them this morning can be a gift, especially to someone who feels alone.

Pray it when you are worried about them. Worry for someone you love is a signal, not a sin. When it comes, turn it into this prayer. You are moving the person from your hands into God’s.

And pray it with your church. Ask a friend or a small group to pray these same lines for the people you love. Paul’s prayers were never solo. They were the prayers of a whole church for one another, and that is still the pattern.